"Marriage was originally designed to assist physical survival. With the growth of spiritual consciousness in the world, that model is being replaced by another; a sacred commitment between partners to assist each other's spiritual growth" (from "Twin Souls", by Patricia Joudry & Maurie Pressman)
The quote taken from the book "Twin Souls" says that one of the main reasons we have been getting married over the ages is to survive in our fear-based, physical world. That is so right. The traditional and religious concepts of marriage are, to a great extent, fear-based belief systems. And these belief systems are also coming to an end.
Something seems to be seriously wrong with marriage. During the past 50 years, the rate of divorce in the United States has reached an astonishing level of approximately 50%. And it shows no signs of letting up in the near future. I've recently contributed to that number and it doesn't feel so good, especially when there are innocent children involved. A smaller group of people has contributed more than once. Today's statistics also mean that half of the couples not divorced are still married. But are they all happy and fulfilled? And to what degree? My guess is that most of them are going through the motions and are tired of pretending that all is well. And yet they stay together for so many different reasons.
Some couples continue to suffer through it all just to have the security and comfort that the legal bond of marriage brings. Others stay together for the children's sake. And there are those who don't want to violate religious dogma and go to hell for eternity. Maybe 5-10% of couples on this planet have a reasonable idea of what it takes to make marriage a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
(…) something is fundamentally wrong with the marriage experience. The root of the problem has to do with the reasons why people get into relationships in the first place and then end them when the union breaks down. And it can always be traced to the play and influence of our egos.
Something just isn't right. And yet, we are still so caught up in the delirium of falling in love, getting married, mating passionately, having babies and pledging our love for eternity. Yet few individuals have stopped to think about what's really going on with all of this... "what's the real purpose of marriage?" When I got married, it just seemed everyone else was doing it: having children and a home was fun. And all of my friends and relatives were into it as well. On top of it all, Hollywood was glorifying falling in love and mushy songs constantly reminded us how wonderful it was.
Anything with a failure rate of at least 50% should scream out to those who are willing to listen that something is fundamentally wrong with the reasons why people enter long-term romantic relationships.
What is the fundamental problem behind this failure rate? It all has to do with the many ego-driven, fear-based motives that often serve as the basis for long-term relationships. In other words, they fail because we enter into them for the wrong reasons. Here are some of those wrong reasons to think about...
- Marriage will end my loneliness.
- I'll have someone to take care of me.
- My partner will make me happy.
- I can expect wonderful things from my partner.
- It's so romantic to give one's heart away to another.
- I'll feel complete when I'm with my love.
- She'll need me and I'll need her.
- Now she'll belong to me.
- I can finally just be myself after I'm married.
- We'll both be able to have some control over each other.
- Marriage will make me happy.
- Now I can expect things from my spouse.
- My partner will bring meaning to my life.
- Our combined income will allow us to accumulate more things.
- and so on...
Something new is happening today. Change is in the air and it is irreversible. It is happening all over this planet and it is dramatically affecting relationships. It is no accident that current marriages, founded upon old belief systems and man-made religious dogmas, are coming undone at an incredibly fast rate.
In short, it's time to put aside the traditional concepts of relationship and seriously consider the notion of a cosmic, spiritual partnership that will transcend those of the past. Not only is this new concept beginning to take hold and flourish, in the end it is going to prevail. And it's going to prevail because ego will have no place in such a union.
Spiritual partnership is based upon equality, balance between the male and female energies, the freedom and the strength to be one's self while taking responsibility for one's actions, sacred sexuality, open and truthful communication without fear of ridicule, honoring and respecting the other's strengths and weaknesses, and the genuine recognition that your partner is truly your most intimate and all-embracing friend.
These same unions will be founded upon the ideals of unconditional love, unselfishness and the realization that ego is at the root of all failed relationships. It will be true, soul-to-soul love.
The success of spiritual partnerships will not be dependent upon legal papers that bind two people together. Nor will they need to be sanctioned or blessed by religious or court appointed strangers at ceremonies, which have become so materialistic they defy logic. Rather, the couples in cosmic union will want to bond simply because of their desire to be together. But this will not be an irresponsible nor impulsive decision. It will be based upon concepts, feelings and soul-to-soul commitments that most of our ancestors have yet to think about or experience. They simply weren't ready for it before this moment in human history. But we are now.
Here are more thoughts to consider...
- Cosmic partnership is not about giving your heart away, but sharing it with another.
- Cosmic partnership is not about clinging to another, but having a strong sense of identity and being in balance with yourself and your beloved other.
- Cosmic partnership is not about surrendering your freedom, but becoming freer and also more responsible.
- Cosmic partnership is not about finding your happiness in another, but bringing your happiness to another.
- Cosmic partnership is not about getting lost in another, but finding your Self first and then sharing that with the other.
- Cosmic partnership is not about the material. Rather, it's about the soul and reaching new spiritual heights together.
- Cosmic partnership is not about fears and uncertainties, but about trust, acceptance, unselfishness and unconditional love.
- Cosmic partnership is not about staying stuck in the material world, but about growth in oneness of the two in union, as they evolve towards their Source.
- Cosmic partnership is not about ego. There will be challenges and conflicts, but they will be resolved quickly, openly and in a spirit of unconditional love.
(Taken from "Fromthestars")
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